September 17, 2024
A Not So Sobering Reality: The Lack of Dry Queer Spaces
Story by Vicente Quintanilla
Edited by Abigail Vela and Nina Alegre
Note from the Editors: This article was written by one of the six fellows who participated in the 2024 Pluma Libre Journalism Fellowship. This year’s fellowship focused on developing stories about local LGBTQIA+ and immigration issues.
Queer people have always had to make an effort to find ways to connect with each other. Today, even with great strides being made nationally on the issue of queer acceptance, finding places you feel comfortable being openly queer is still an issue. Queer people are still unable to guarantee their safety in public spaces and, as a result, require spaces where they can unapologetically be themselves. In the Rio Grande Valley, many members of the community are excluded, however, as a direct consequence of the lack of diversity in the available queer sober spaces.
Familiar Spaces
The persecution and criminalization of homosexuality during the lavender scare forced queer people to exist on the fringes of society. The need to congregate away from the eyes of the public meant that there were limited options for refuge. Nightlife establishments that had experience operating with the necessary discretion functioned as some of the only venues that allowed people to comfortably explore their bodies, sexuality and identity. The existing circumstances resulted in a relationship that went much deeper than just businesses and patrons. Bars and nightclubs positioned themselves as pillars of the LGBTQ+ community and played a central role in allowing queer people to connect with each other.
Visits to the local clubs and bars acted as rites of passage for LGBTQ+ people. The heavy presence of alcohol resulted in it becoming an intrinsic aspect of the lifestyle: a consequence that, for some members of the queer community, presents a less-than-ideal situation. Although the growing acceptance of queer people brought with it an increase in queer-friendly spaces, the abundance of gay clubs and bars, as opposed to other queer venues, can feel alienating for those who don’t partake in alcohol. The nightlife environment is so deeply ingrained in the queer experience that it’s almost impossible to imagine life without it. For youth, sober people, and people who aren’t comfortable around alcohol, however, it is important that, as a community, we begin to do so.
A Change of Space
John Taylor (he/they), the administrative assistant of the South Texas Equality Project (STEP), shared that he, and the organization, recognize this issue and have been working to find, develop and create queer safe spaces that do not revolve around drinking. They hope that making an effort to increase the amount of available spaces may work to alleviate other issues that exist within the community.
“Queer people have a higher rate of addictions and problems with substance abuse, not just alcohol but weed, meth and cocaine. These problems can lead to other issues like financial hardships and homelessness, as well as STDs and STIs. We try to combat that with sober spaces, places where people can go and not worry about having to be under the influence […] just really promote the fact that you can have a queer social life without substances.” Taylor explained that introducing these spaces can prove valuable in helping to reduce harmful behaviors in the community. “These places are vital in reducing the risk of transmitted diseases, unhealthy relationships, loneliness, suicide […] it all really adds up to being connected with the community in a positive light instead of through more negative behavior.”
The South Texas Equality Project, which hosts a variety of queer events and activities that the community can participate in, has done significant work in beginning to identify businesses that are queer-friendly. John Taylor explained that communicating with members of the LGBTQIA+ community was key in helping secure locations to host the events. “We find safe spaces for the community by scouting and asking. I ask my friends, ask my family, ask community members, most importantly, for recommendations and places. Because we do watch, we do listen, we want to make sure that everywhere that we go to is safe for all queer people, regardless of identity.”
Highlighting Queer Sober Spaces in the RGV
There are already a few queer-friendly spaces that fill part of the existing void in the Rio Grande Valley, and it is impossible to have this discussion without taking the time to highlight some of the ones that I am aware of:
Cactus Valley Art and Supply Company
Cactus Valley Art is an independently owned art supply store. An excerpt from their website describes them as “a place for the outcasts, the weirdos, and those of us who have never felt like we fit in…a safe place to make a mess, to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow.” Cactus Valley Art hosts multiple classes, workshops and events that the community can participate in, including a recurring “Queer Craft Night” to provide a safe space that does not revolve around drinking.
ENTRE Film Center
ENTRE is an artist-run community film center and regional archive center. ENTRE hosts and collaborates on events that allow the community to learn about and create cinematic expression. The center recently hosted a screening of Gregg Araki’s “Teenage Apocalypse Trilogy,” which explores LGBTQIA+ themes and youth culture (and was programmed by Santana Peralez, writer for LGBTQIA+ advice column Consejitos Con Santana).
Ante Books
Ante Books is a locally owned independent bookstore and creative studio. Ante opened fairly recently and has already hosted a variety of events that people can participate in, including art workshops and poetry nights.
Myth Adventures
Myth Adventures is a family-owned collectibles store and hobby shop. Myth hosts events throughout the year featuring different hobbies, such as trading card games and video games, in an effort to create a community. Myth has also acted as a host space for events run by the South Texas Equality project, such as the “Asexual, Aromantic and Grey Family Reunion,” allowing LGBTQ+ a safe, sober place to congregate.
Heart in the Right Space
The lack of queer sober spaces in the Rio Grande Valley is an issue that part of the community recognizes and is working to solve. As I shared my desire for change with people, it became apparent that the sentiment resonated with others.
While the traditional clubs and bars have unilaterally served as places for queer people to connect, they are intrinsically exclusionary to a large portion of the community. The creation and development of more diverse queer spaces provide alternative venues for everyone as well as providing a necessary, safe space for those who cannot or choose not to drink alcohol.
As we continue to advocate towards queer acceptance it is important that we fight for physical spaces that allow us to connect with each other. Diversifying spaces is key in allowing all members of the community to connect with each other. Whether it be through the creation of new spaces or the support of already existing spaces, we as a community must put in the work to ensure that everyone has access to a safe space and can experience the love, joy, and support of the LGBTQ+ community in the Rio Grande Valley.
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