Words by Abigail Vela
Content Warning: This article contains topics about self-harm, suicide, and mental health that may be distressing to readers.
Note from the Editor: This article is written from personal experiences, so to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned, they are referred to by pronouns rather than their names.
It’s a known fact that Latino men are at a higher risk of suicide in our culture. Little did I know that I would be in a position to research ways to get help for him. I called the National Crisis and Suicide Hotline and every local behavioral health center— all to make a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C. All to make sure he stays alive.
It’s a strange feeling researching all the ways to help someone while feeling so helpless yourself. My post-traumatic stress disorder has kicked in full force each day, anticipating the worst. There are days when I don’t feel like I can breathe— times when all I can do is break down or spend time researching and trying to find a solution for a problem that I’m not dealing with myself directly (but have dealt with before personally and survived).
The Suicide Prevention Resource Center reported from 2015 to 2020, “suicide rates increased [overall] for [ages 15 to 44].” In 2020, suicide was “the second leading cause of death for those ages 10 to 14 and 25 to 34, [and] the third leading cause of death for ages 15 to 24.” Data gathered in 2021 by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention states that, on average, 132 people commit suicide every day, and 48,183 people die by suicide yearly in the United States. That’s 48,183 people with hopes, dreams, family, and friends… 48,183 people with lives lost too soon…
I write this to help a loved one who believes his life does not matter. I write this to advocate for him and others this month (and beyond) and let them know that their lives matter; they matter so much.
My family and I are still struggling to ensure he gets the help he needs. He was admitted to a behavioral health center last month. He walked out, thinking that he didn’t get any help. Now it’s September, and we are back to square one, wondering what’s next. After a few rounds of therapy, we remain hopeful that he will get better.
The other night, I listened as he told us, “I don’t know who I am anymore. Life is not worth it. I’m scared of life.” We listened and kept reminding him, repeating the phrases, “You are worth it,” “You mean so much to us,” “Don’t give up,” and “We love you.” What he is currently going through is suicidal ideation.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline outlines steps to help a loved one at risk of suicide. Various signs to determine if a loved one is contemplating suicide are if they speak about wishing to end their lives, feel hopeless and express no purpose to live, are behaving recklessly, are withdrawing and isolating themselves, and more.
If your loved one is showing signs, you can take action by contacting a local lifeline center or dialing 988, using the do’s and don’ts, practicing active listening, and contacting local resources for help (listed at the bottom of the article).
One thing I’ve observed from my family is that each individual will be impacted differently when they try to help one of their own who is experiencing suicidal ideation. Family members from older generations cannot fathom the thought of suicide, whereas members from younger generations tend to approach the situation with more understanding and knowledge.
I’ve heard the words “I come from a different generation” uttered from their lips. The older generations (Gen X, Baby Boomers, etc.) grew up during a time and culture that believed seeking therapy made you weak. They believe they should just “toughen up,” “men need to be stronger,” and “it’s in God’s hands.” I write this not to blame their responses to mental health crises but to help educate and inform people who may still believe or find themselves saying this.
As time has passed, so has the normalcy and advocacy for mental health education and resources. According to a study done by mental health professionals, published by Indian Journal of Psychiatry, “The idea that you can just ‘switch off’ or ‘stop over-thinking’ about your psychological state still exists within the Generation X […] The generation gap actually consists of a gap of misinformation and archaic solutions that need unlearning to understand the evolving mental health disorders of a digitally advanced world where scientific knowledge is easily accessible.”
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE WORTHY. YOU ARE LOVED.
It’s strange how all the worries in the world tend to melt away when someone you love is in danger. Nothing else really matters. We all have the capacity to focus on one individual, one life, one person. To help them in any way we can.
One way we can help is by staying informed to understand the warning signs better when they present themselves and help advocate for suicide prevention on a local, national, and global level.
Here are a few resources to consider:
El RGV es el hogar de una de las mayores poblaciones de animales callejeros del país, lo que supone una gran presión para los servicios de rescate y acogida que ayudan a encontrar un hogar para estos animales. Con recursos limitados de los gobiernos locales pero un fuerte apoyo de la comunidad, estas organizaciones logran luchar a diario por estos animales.
National Hispanic Heritage Month offers an opportunity to rekindle your cultural ties. Learn ways to rediscover your heritage through media, music, and the community in the 956.
Discover Rio Grande City by riding the Bessie III Trolley and explore the historic sights in downtown!
