Top Savage Birthday Traditions

by Trucha

Yo, we turned 2! And we’re celebrating by showing you the most savage birthday traditions from our cultura.

And we are starting off strong with…

1. La Mordida

Imagine your loved ones gathering around you to sing Las Mañanitas. You’re ready to blow out the candles when all of a sudden, you feel a heaviness on the back of your head. You’re out of control. No puedes cambiar tu destino… Your face slams straight into what was supposed to be the most delicious bite of the year! You slowly get up again, frosting all over your face, licking the crumbs of tres leches from your lips. ‘I should’ve seen this coming,’ you think as you hear everyone laughing. Unfortunately, no one can escape La Mordida.

2. Quinceñera Posse Strutting At The Mall

Whose idea was it to parade around the mall in your quinceñera dress? Who started this tradition? Do we know? We need answers for these questions. Whoever started this RGV tradition will always be known as that girl. Not to mention, the dance you have with 14, usually random, boys in front of your entire family? Yes, we know it’s tradition, but can we also admit how cringe it is… 👀

3. ¡Los Huevos Atacan! 🥚

Was it just us, or did birthdays get rowdy in high school? Birthday hazing was something that was common in the early 2000s. Friends would surprise (more like attack) the birthday student by pouring school milk and eggs all over them. “Happy Birthday!” I guess? But only if it’s consensual.🤷🏾‍♂️

4. Human Piñata

¡Un pari no es a pari sin una piñata! Los tios climb the rooftops to lift the piñata up while the tias freak out, yelling, “¡Ten cuidado Jose! ¡Ay, no, miralo, chingao!” The kids get in line, and the adults gather around. Who thought it was a good idea to blindfold kids and give them a stick? Be sure to expect a child or two to swing with extra enthusiasm. So don’t get too close, or else you will become the ultimate human piñata.

5. A Pari Para Ti… Y Los Tios

This may not be so savage, but it’s still a thing. Think of all the times growing up when it was your birthday, and the people who showed up were your cousins, friends, and of course, ¡los tios! (con un pallete de caguamas). As the party progresses, so does the number of cervezas they chug with your dad. All you remember from your 2nd birthday are los gritos and your parent’s rendition of “Tragos de Amargo Licor.”

$2 For Our Terrific Twos

We are here to uplift the stories, culture, and social movements of migrant and queer communities in the 956. Help us celebrate our 2-year anniversary by donating $2 to help support community journalists, artists, videographers, and community partners this year!

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